so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
