so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
