thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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