I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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