I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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