sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
