we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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