I must be too annoying 4 u.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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