I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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