Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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