So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
