i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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