like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
