fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
