somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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