it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
