im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
