i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
