So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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