Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
