Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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