I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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