At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Quick, to the slutcave!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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