I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
