I wanna passion pit in your ass
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
