just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
