Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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