Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
