You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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