I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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