perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
