help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
