Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you had me at cake vodka
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
