i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize