you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize