I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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