all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
