Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
