Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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