we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
