when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
