lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
