I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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