it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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