can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
