I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there's paper in my vomit.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize