he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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