I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
