Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
