I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
