My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
