Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
