No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
