Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
