im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
