I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
