so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
