Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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