we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
