I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
