If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
