youre lurking in front of me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
