I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
