When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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