I seem to have left my pride at pride
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When are your genitals available?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
