Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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